My Own Top Ten

 (Originally published on AdoptionBlogs.com, April 8th, 2009)A child's hands with fingers spread out (counting to 10)

Production, Not Reproduction is one of my favorite blogs about adoption. Recently, the blog mom wrote her top ten list of why it’s awesome to be an adoptive mom. She asked her readers what their ideas were. So, I’m steal… *ahem* leveraging that idea to share with you.

Top Ten Reasons I Love Being an Adoptive Mom

  1. I don’t have any pregnancy stories to scare other moms with. What is it about women that they have to share intimate (and I mean intimate) details about their pregnancies? I used to work in a cubicle near the kitchen in an office building. Practically every woman on the floor was pregnant or recently had been. I got to hear all about my manager’s time (naked) in the hot tub before undergoing an emergency C-section. And MOMS Club events were even worse. I’m sorry, but I don’t need to know how much you tore. Yuck!
  2. My husband and I shared parenting duties fairly equally, including feedings. A close friend of mine lamented that the one problem with breast feeding was that her child’s father didn’t get much time with the baby. I could definitely see that.
  3. My son escaped the inevitable Funny Looking Baby Syndrome that happens to many babies born to women on my dad’s side of the family. My older nephew is now adorable, but yikes, was he a Funny Looking Baby! My younger nephew still is a Funny Looking Baby. Actually, I think a lot of white babies are born kind of funny looking. It’s their pale reddish skin.
  4. My eyes and mind have been opened to how “white-centric” our world can be. I never realized before how many books, TV shows, movies, and so on feature predominantly white characters. To use one example, I like to think that there are books I would buy for a child regardless of color. However, having my son has made me seek out books that I probably wouldn’t have found otherwise. 
  5. I know my son is having a better life than he would have had with his biological family. I’m sure this seems condescending. Maybe it is. But I do know what S and her children are going through, and they have a tough road ahead of them. I am happy that this bright, beautiful, rambunctious, precocious boy will have the opportunity to be the best he can possibly be. We owe it to S to make sure he has a better life than she could have provided; it’s why she chose us.
  6. I feel we were better prepared then a lot of parents we know. Because of our home study, my husband and I had to sit down and talk about discipline, the role of religion and spirituality, our parenting goals, and other important parenting topics. We read and researched quite a bit. I’m not saying we were totally prepared – Jack’s 6 months of not napping can attest to that – but I do think we were more confident in certain areas.
  7. I think the newborn phase was easier for me because I wasn’t recovering from labor or undergoing any postpartum shift. I can’t imagine having a C-section and then being expected to immediately care for a newborn. It makes me almost nostalgic for the time when mother and baby would be in the hospital for several days, instead of two. (And I don’t even like hospitals.) There is a condition known as post-adoption depression; I don’t mean to imply that if you adopt, you won’t be depressed when the baby arrives. I wasn’t, so I count that as a plus.
  8. I’ve met so many people online whom I consider friends. I don’t have the opportunity to go to “real” adoptive support groups, so I joined two online. I’ve met several people who have helped me, by sharing their perspectives and experiences. (I’m planning a post on adoption support resources.)
  9. We’ve been able to be adoption advocates and dispel adoption myths held by family and friends. So many people think “adoption” and think of the Baby Scoop Era. By living in an open adoption and being open about the aspects of our adoption, I really do think we’ve helped some people understand it better. We’ve also been able to help some friends as they begin to explore adoption.
  10. If it weren’t for adoption, I never would have discovered digital scrapbooking. It’s a long story, but basically, the time and effort that I put into doing our traditional (paper) adoption profile convinced me that I should look into digital scrapbooking. This has been a Good Thing.

So that’s it for me. What about you? What do you like the most about being an adoptive parent?

Photo Credit.

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